Born Empty
by MeAndMyReflection
Summary: My name is Kris. I am Kris. Or am I? I wonder... This is my journey through my emptiness. I hope you'll enjoy it, for I am trying to enjoy my life as well. (I don't know if I will continue this story in here or different story)


This soul…

Is not the sign that I had life and determination…

This is a sign that I would never be my own person. I was born empty so that you could do whatever you want to me. I have nothing I like nor dislike because that is also what you decided on me.

No… Not only because of that. It's not that you can't decide for me. But it's because I have no choice. Even if you ended up helping me choose the path I will go, they will take that away from you too. They have decided the ending for me.

I can't fight back, I can't run away. And even you are forced to finish my story till the end. Is it going to end happy? Is it going to end sad? I don't want to know what my end is…

I…

I am…

… …

What am I…?

"Kris! Wake up if you don't want to be late to school!" That's mother voice. Well, no reason to stay on bed then. Time to wake up.

…..Ugh… My body is really sore…

'…..'

Every time I woke up from my bed, I can't help but inspecting my- no, me and my brother room. My brother side of room is full with trophies adored in his shelves. It shines beautifully. The wall of his room is filled with stars and moon. He really loves night sky. He also have computers and console games he used a lot in the past. I told him I don't want to play, but he is too nice and bought me a controller too. Knockoff, but at least its working.

While mine is… empty, like always. What did I expect, really? The only think I have is a cage for some reason-

' _!'_

My soul suddenly uncontrollably shaking. ….Maybe I shouldn't stare on that cage too much. Although I do wonder where all the crashes in the cage are coming from.

…..

Downstairs. Yay. Congratulations, you have completed a task! …. It sounds very horrible when I'm the one saying it.

….Never mind. I'm getting distracted too much. Let's eat and go to school.

"Oh, Kris! It took you so long in there! I always wonder what you did inside until it would take you this long to come out!" mom said with worried face.

'…. _I'm sorry…_ ' I said inside my head. Thankfully, it seems mother understand what I'm trying to say.

"Oh, it's alright Kris. I don't mind waiting for you. Shall we go then?"

Since no voice could come out of my throat, I just nodded to her.

This is another problem I had for being born empty. Sometimes I am so empty, I don't know what to say to people. Or sometimes, even if I do say something, it would scare people off for how emotionless I said it. They usually describe me as creepy, quiet, or always tired.

Well, it's not like I can deny that...

"Alright, Kris! We have arrived! I hope you'll do well in class! And please try to awake as long as possible in your class. You don't want to miss any important lesson, would you?"

"...I'll… try…"

"Thank you, Kris." Mother hugged me before going to her class.

' _Well, I should get going then…'_

Krieet…. Miss Alphys looked at me with a concerned eyes. I suppose that make sense, especially since I'm always late for my class.

"O-Oh… K-Kris… W-Welcome! ….. ….Um. G-Go to your seat, please…." It seems even Miss Alphys was tired to ask why I'm late again. She already know what I'm going to say to her. I had a bad dream and it makes me restless. I wish I can do something about it, but I can't even tell what my dream is about.

"Hi, Kris! How's your day?". Ah, Noelle is trying to talk to me. Alright, I can do it. It's just a normal conversation. If I can do it with Asriel, why not with her?

" It's… okay…. Thanks…" No, my tone is creepy as usual. Noelle laughs nervously. But she quickly return to her usual sweet smile. I'm glad she is very nice to me, even though I have pulled some horrible pranks to her in the past.

"Good to hear! If you want help with homework, I'm always ready to help!". I nodded at her and walk to my seat. I try not to look at Bredley. I know he is going to make fun of me again, so I try to ignore him. It's truly sad really, because most of his insult is true.

The lesson goes on as usual. I tried to stay awake, but my tired body keep telling me to go asleep. In the end, I lose the fight and go to sleep.

I dreamt of emptiness. I saw nothing, and feel nothing. But this is better than the dream I had every night. In this dream, I could at least feel at peace… In my dream at night, I felt like I'm inside an unseen cage, wishing to escape but can never escape. I can feel the boundary that keep me from leaving, but I don't even know what is this boundary. I could just stay still and don't try to escape. But at the same time, if I didn't try to escape, I'm scared that I would stuck inside that cage forever. So I struggle… and struggle… and struggle… That's what I always do every night.

"K-Kris! A-Are you listening…?" I jolted awake from my sleep. Miss Alphys shaking me quite hard to woke me up. Everyone except Noelle laugh at me for sleeping again.

"W-Welcome back, K-Kris! Now, continue on with our lesson…"

...Well… No sleep for the wicked…

Few hours later…

KRINNGG!

"D-don't forget to do your homework… See you again tomorrow…" Miss Alphys dismissed the class and everyone left except me.

"K-Kris, y-you should wake up… Class is over...Y-You can continue sleeping at home…" Despite saying that, I can't move myself out of this table. I'm really that tired.

"... I'm… I'm going to call your mom…" I can hear her footsteps noise is getting smaller and smaller… Since she is calling for my mother, all I need to do is wait.

"Kris! Why are you sleeping here? We are going home now, please wake up…" I lifted my head and stare at her. I hope she can tell that I'm so tired.

"Kris…? ….Alright, I'm going to help you, Kris." Mother pulled my hand to help me get up. I manage to stand still and walk with her to our car.

"Kris… You look even more tired than yesterday... What happen?" I don't want to worry her, but I don't even know how to explain this… dream to her.

"...I'm… sorry… I… don't know..."

"O-Oh! It-it's alright, Kris! But… I really do want to help you, Kris! Maybe you can sleep with me tonight. It might help you sleep better." I suddenly felt my soul jumped in fear. The feeling is so intense until my soul felt like it was screaming in agony.

"NO! I prefer sleeping by myself! You don't have to worry about me!" Both me and mother seems to be surprise with how I speak.

"I-I'm sorry… I didn't mean to…"

"It's okay, Kris… Sometimes I forget you are a teenager now. I'm going to make a pie to make you feel better! How's that sound?". I tried to make a smile on my face.

"That sounds amazing, mom…" While driving back to home, we passed on the old diner we used to go to eat together. I remember how my brother would always bought me hot chocolate with marshmallow at top. He knows how much I love marshmallow.

I miss him...


End file.
